Huge lesson learned!

In 2010, I thought I was unstoppable. I was six years into a marriage I loved, raising two incredible girls, and crushing my goals at a Forbes Top 20 company in Seattle. I had just delivered the second-largest initiative in the company, working 100-hour weeks to ensure a flawless launch. Absolutely on fire and loving ever second. I was on stage with the CIO, receiving awards, and living the corporate dream I dreamed about as a young boy.

But the dream was built on a lie.

I trusted the wrong leaders and accepted a new role based on a agreement. Within 30 days, the "moon" they promised was replaced with a target on my back. Despite my record-breaking year, I was handed a "Blacklist" review. A calculated move that stripped me of a nice promotion, substantial bonus, healthy stock grant, and my reputation.

The betrayal broke me physically, and mentally. I eventually lost 40 pounds from pure stress and fear. I ended up in the ER with panic attacks, realizing too late that a corporate title is a hollow shield. I thought that was my rock bottom. I was wrong. It was just the training ground for the storm that would nearly take me all the way down seven years later.

The 2017 Collapse and the Four Songs that Saved Me

By 2017, the cracks reached my home. My 14-year marriage nearly ended due to a bad decision my wife made, and it shattered my world. I fought and fought but that only pushed her away more. We separated, and when my daughters were no longer there, I spiraled.

I let anger, resentment, and alcohol take the wheel. From the outside, I was holding it together, inside, I was dying. I spent my nights beating a heavy bag until it fell from the ceiling, trying to punch away a pain that only grew deeper.

One night, stumbling through my own home, I realized I was about to lose the only thing I had left, myself.

"Never Again" Moment

The next morning I woke up with major anxiety, I looked at the big photos of my girls that I had recently put up and made a choice. No more drinking. No more blaming. No more living as a victim of my past.

That morning, I said "Never Again." I reached for my phone and randomly picked four songs. I wasn't a "Christian music guy," but that morning I prayed out (yelled), “Lord, I can’t do it anymore, help me!”, and I looked at the photos again and made two commitments: one to my Heavenly Father, and one to my girls. I promised to fight the mental battle, rebuild myself, and never give up on chasing Jesus.

Fun fact: I didn't realized the name of these songs until six months after that morning! I listened to them daily in-order, on repeat, for the first hour of my day.

The four songs that changed everything.

Lord, I Need You (Passion, Chris Tomlin): Total surrender.
Jesus Loves Me (Chris Tomlin): Just listen to the first 60-seconds.
Resurrection Power (Chris Tomlin): Realization my shame was gone and I was born again.
I Will Rise (Chris Tomlin): No more pain.

That morning forever changed me. Nothing was a coincidence.

I realized that my past didn't have to equal my future. I stopped being a victim of what happened to me and started becoming the man God intended for me.

ROMANS 8:18: The PAIN you've been feeling can't compare to the JOY that's coming!

today, my wife and I are thriving, all thanks to God!